Selfish Embrace
by Ravenski
Summary: Your touch was all I had. SqualoXReader fan fiction


_Look away, pray for salvation,  
And pray, for a sweet conversation.  
The problem's not with you.  
It's without you.  
I love the way that you told me I'm better  
The way you described me in letters.  
There's nothing I can do,  
Is there nothing I can do?_

_Choo-choo! Chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga… choo-choo!_

Saturday… evening… I recall walking down the dreaded hallway, soon to be my past, my very last…

I handed my bags to he, the busboy, in preparation for my trip… it was supposed to be our trip, at least…

"Miss _!" I turned around, thus beginning this recollection of momentum proportions…

"Miss _... I thought you might use these…", says Basil, my aid, as he hands me a pair of gloves. He smiles considerately.  
"Thank you Basil, but I do not think I will need them this evening…"  
"But… Miss _! Tonight you are meeting…"  
"Yes… I know…" A few seconds pass. I pat his head gently. "Do not worry! I'm not nervous! Although it is, eh, quite an extraordinary experience for me…"  
"If your hands shake, as they are currently…", says Basil, gazing at my fingers. "Then he might reconsider this arrangement…"  
"Oh, Basil! You worry too much!" I smile, and snatch the gloves away from him. "But I suppose, well, I mean to say… I hope he does not change his mind about me…" I say, looking out the window. Basil taps my hand, and I look back at him instantly.  
"My Lady, if he dares to lift a single finger upon the barriers of such a decision… then, it is not bound to be…" He reassuringly smiles, gazing deeply into my eyes with the blue and tender color of his.  
"Excuse me… Miss?" I turn around. It is an attendant of some sort.  
"Yes?"  
"My Lord wishes to see you promptly…"  
"Oh… alright… Basil?"  
"Yes, Miss _?" I smile, and give him a hug. He appears startled, but accepts the embrace immediately.  
"Thank you… for everything…"  
"We will only be parted for a couple hours, Miss!"  
"Yes, but… for me… it shall feel very, very lengthy!"  
"Miss?"  
"Yes?"  
"You… will be alright…" I release Basil from my arms, and carefully place on my gloves in his sight. I wave goodbye a time after, following the attendant to a cart near the caboose of the train.

We reach our destination, knowing promptly the place immediately following the attendant's bow preceding the entrance. I take a deep breath, and, carrying only my purse, enter the cart he has so desperately attempted to reveal.  
I stare into space, until the door is completely closed. Startled, I look for some comfort in the person before me… it is a man, in uniform… his hair, long and whitish gray, extends fair beyond his shoulders. He leans against the booth, sitting, rather, slanting, and away from the window. A glass table resides in front of him, bearing only a glass or two of liquor, and a board game which he so diligently is playing. I swallow, confused as to whether or not he notices my presence.  
"C-…Captain…" I receive not a response. Perhaps, he did not hear me. I decide to speak a little louder. "C-Captain!"  
"Sit…" I immediately sit across from him, very firmly. "And SHUT UP!"  
"B-… B-But…"  
"Do you not know the meaning of keeping QUIET? Can not you see I am BUSY?!", he says, glancing up at me.  
"Please!"  
"Grr, ZOI!", he responds throwing the board game at me. I cover my body, making sure not to get hurt upon impact of the pieces. A few seconds later, the man stands up, banging his fists on the table… it is a shock he did not break it. "What… do you want… you ignorant… WOMAN?!"  
"I AM YOUR FIANCE! YOU JUST ASKED FOR ME!" I could not resist… he was just too mean... his face turns red, mostly from anger… he looks down and closes his eyes… he smiles, and begins to laugh hysterically.  
"HA, HA, HA! You are joking, right? You could not possibly be my fiancé…"  
"But I am! Here…" I hand him the letter, signifying his proposal. He looks and snatches it quickly from my hand. He glances, folds, and places it in his pocket.  
"Ha, ha, ha… I am beaming with embarrassment…"  
"It is alright… you could have mistaken me for anybody…"  
"That is exactly my point!"  
"Huh?" He looks at me, still chuckling in amusement.  
"I obviously was mistaken… in thinking a woman like you… would supplement my needs… as the most stunning… perfect man in the universe…"  
"Ex-… cuse me?" He stands up completely, and begins to walk around the cart.  
"I am a captain, as you know… a war hero, rather… one who, because of his magnificent talents, managed to kill off twenty thousand revolutionaries in the Indian Channel… of course, I lost an arm…", he says, reflecting his left arm, now bearing a blade, in the air. "But, not from carelessness... it was from disrespectful couriers towards my very being on duty! Ah, but you seem to not mind, being so lowly and all… are you, perhaps, admiring my mane? I comb it twice daily with a brush, and once an hour with an ivory comb! Plus, I bathe daily in chamomile and lavender, scrubbing every inch of this bode carefully… even though it does not need cleansing! Or, perhaps, you find my attire pleasing? Twenty-seven medals, including a medal of honor! I have my uniform ironed once a week… hm… I should change this… a habitual, daily ironing would do this uniform justice… even though it is perfection always! Woman… surely you admire my teeth! I brush each individual tooth carefully every hour, and pick away nasty beings if they so decide to remain afterwards! But… my teeth are objectively splendid… I need not worry at all!"  
"Cap-…"  
"Ah, and will you look at this face!" The captain picks up a mirror, looking into it deeply. "I look at this pinnacle of perfection and think, 'Wow, I am outstandingly sexy!' You think I am outstandingly sexy, do you not, woman of such… lowly rank? Hm?" My eyebrow twitches a little. This man is very insulting…  
"Um… Captain…"  
"What? Shut up! Can you not see me speaking? Admiration is the principle objective if this marriage is ever to work!"  
"OF YOU! I… mean…"  
"Dismiss, you incompetent bitch! I am NOT going to sanctify such foul-mouthed thoughts from someone of such small standards! My mouth and mind are too pure for your insults!"  
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!", I exclaim, standing up quickly. I bolster my face close to his. "You ASKED me to marry you, and I agreed! You practically know everything about me! Why do you suddenly assume I am lowlier than you?!"  
"Hmph… everyone is lowlier than I… and, as my wife… you will be a fraction greater than before, but always a fraction less, then I!"  
"Oh, you…" I feel like slapping him. The door slides open.  
"Tea? Coffee? Sir? Miss?"  
"Captain!", says he to the maid.  
"I am sorry… would you care for some refreshments… Captain?"  
"The Captain will care for a nice… calming… iced tea, if you have any…", I say to the maid. The maid nods.  
"Yes, Miss… and would you care for something?"  
"Yes, I would... a cool glass of water with lemon, if you do not mind…"  
"Of course, Miss!" The maid pours iced tea for the Captain, and water with lemon for me. She places the drinks on the table, and leaves. I sit in front of my drink, and grab it with one hand.  
"Sit, Captain!" He reluctantly sits across from me, crossing his arms, disgusted.  
"Iced tea gives my skin acne…"  
"Then drink it! You are so damn perfect, whatever makes you think an imperfection will occur?"  
"ZOI, you are right!" He takes the glass and sips it willingly. I smile.  
"Good… I hope it balances out your liquor intake…"  
"I do not drink!"  
"Of course!", I say, glancing at the shot glasses from before. I sigh a moment later. "Captain… you seem… so very different, compared to your letters…" He takes one last sip of his iced tea, and looks at me.  
"Certainly… I am much better in person…" I smile, very slightly.  
"You… said beautiful things in your letters… you even said…"  
"I love you?" I look up for a second, and down again, blushing. "Hmph… words are only true if they are expressed in person… I will never admit faults, because I have none… but, one thing I do regret… is…"  
"Captain!" We both look at the door. A man opens it, an attendant of the Captain. "Your associates wish to speak with you immediately!"  
"ZOI! Tell them to wait an hour or two! Can they not see I am having a conversation with my fiancé?!"  
"But…"  
"NO BUTS! Tell them to wait!" The attendant leaves, and closes the door. The Captain looks at me again. I look up at him.  
"Um… it sounds important… maybe you should…"  
"NO! I want you to start reading me the letters I wrote to you!"  
"But… why? Do you not already know what they say?"  
"It has been over a year… I have changed… I wish to compare those thoughts with my current ones, and ultimately concoct a decision based on my true beliefs, for, only they, are always right…"  
"Ha… ha, ha!" I start to laugh. The Captain looks at me strangely.  
"What about such a remark do you find so amusing?" I can hardly control myself in laughter.  
"Oh… my… Captain! It is not what you said, but rather, how you said it! Why… of all the nerve…"  
"Listen to me, you incompetent woman!", he says, standing up, and pointing his finger at me. "I refuse to continue this conversation if I am to be ridiculed!" I wipe a tear from my eye, sigh, and look up at him.  
"I am so very sorry… a lowly… woman such as myself, has no right to be laughing…"  
"There… that is better!", the Captain replies, taking a seat once more on the bench. I lean in closer to him from across the table.  
"However, I doubt you realize my overall intention for laughing… you see… we hardly know each other, and we are already quarreling, over absolutely nothing! But it is truly how you said your last remark that is funny! Um... you said you have changed… such a short while it has been for you to have totally changed… and as for I, well…" I look down, curling my fingers on the table. "I really… did not change… my judgment varies little when it comes to reality, and I was completely honest throughout… tell me…", I say, looking up at him. "Were you honest in your letters? Did you really mean them? And, if you do not mind my inquiries… what occurred that made you change so much in a little over a year… hm?" The Captain frowns. He looks down. I hear the tapping of his fingers on the bench.  
"I… really wish you would not have asked me that…"  
"Well, it is not like you did not see something like it coming! I mean… I want to know everything about you! Your career, your hobbies… perhaps even your family members!" He stops tapping his fingers, and curls them as I did to mine.  
"I rather not talk about any of that…", he says, looking out the window with a scowl. I am confused.  
"Really? Your letters prove otherwise… matter-of-factly, you go into quite some detail about your life story… where you grew up, your very best friends…"  
"Enough!"  
"What?"  
"ENOUGH, I SAY!" He now looks at me, angrier than ever. I lean back into my seat, placing my arms to my sides, and frown. He breathes deeply and is red in the face. I look down.  
"My… it is apparent that you do not wish to talk at all…"  
"What…"  
"It is nothing…", I say, standing up. I grab my purse from beside me, and walk to the door diligently. He stands up, too.  
"Where do you think you are going, woman?!" I slightly glance back at him from the corner of my eye, just as I open the door.  
"I am going to perfect myself… so I no longer have to be called, 'woman'…"  
"Wai…"  
"Goodnight, Captain…" I walk out of the cart, shutting the door behind me. The Captain, hand outstretched, bangs his fists against the table, cracking it slightly.  
"DAMMIT!"

Later in the evening…

"Oh, Basil! It was just AWFUL!", I exclaim, crying into a pillow. I uncover my face to look at my aid, now sitting across from me in my cart. "Why… he… was just so full of himself! Indescribably… FULL OF HIMSELF!" Basil smiles reassuringly.  
"Miss _, I am sure he had good reason to be…"  
"Oh, YES! He was trying to flatter me by flattering HIMSELF!"  
"My Lady, I was told by his attendants that the Captain is constantly busy…"  
"Oh, yes… of course! Busy… grooming himself like a cat!"  
"No, that is not what I mean!"  
"I know you do not, Basil… what do you mean?"  
"Well, apparently he goes on very long trips all over the world… he hardly ever sees land, nonetheless, have the chance to talk to someone personally! Therefore, they say he can be mean and selfish, a man full of pride…"  
"I certainly believe that, but… regardless! He has not the right to treat me this way! I am his fiancé, for God's sake!"  
"Certainly! But… outside from letters… how can he express his affection to you? Perhaps he does not know how…"  
"He said something like that…" Basil looks up at me. "He mentioned that verbal language is something quite different than written language… but… I really did not understand what he meant by the second part of his explanation… see, he wanted me to read the letters HE wrote out loud to HIM… and he proceeded to say that the purpose of this was to compare his written language to the thoughts he currently has, which apparently changed over the course of a year, for the purpose of creating a modern viewpoint of the matter. Can you believe it?" Basil shakes his head, chuckling a little.  
"No, Miss… he obviously is hiding something from you…"  
"Yes… yes, that is right!", I say, my eyes clearing up, and smiling. I lean in closer to him. "Perhaps he is trying to trick me! Oh, Basil! Do you think this is all just a game of his, with the goal of winning my affection? Maybe he is pretending to have pride in order to test the potency of our relationship! YES! It all makes sense now! Thank you, Basil!", I say, giving him a hug. I stand up, and open the door quickly. Basil looks at me.  
"Where are you going, My Lady?" I turn around, and look at him.  
"I am going to the man I love, of course! Where else might I go on this filthy train, hm?" Basil smiles as I leave the cart immediately.

Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the train…

"Captain, Señor Shamal wishes to speak to you…"  
"Yes, yes, let him in…", says the Captain, twiddling with a game piece on the table, head on one head, and frowning. A man walks into the room, wearing a blue uniform and white cap. He takes off his cap, and sits across from the Captain. The man bows his head.  
"Sorry to disturb you, Captain Superbi, but it is most urgent that I…"  
"Shamal… shut up…", says the Captain, flicking the game piece, like a domino, forcefully onto the board. Shamal swallows, looking at the piece. "You came here to check on me, right?" Shamal looks at the Captain.  
"Yes… Captain... how did it go?"  
"Not… GOOD…", exclaims the Captain, slamming his hand on the piece. He grinds his teeth wildly.  
"Ah… but the letters helped… did not they?"  
"NO! That… stupid woman… would not even read them to me!"  
"See! There you go with those remarks again! Captain…" He sighs. "Squalo… if you really want to impress her, you must control yourself!"  
"BUT HOW CAN I?! It has only been a few years… since…"  
"The curse?" Squalo glances at Shamal.  
"What… else could it be…", says Squalo, calming down. Shamal smiles.  
"Perhaps if you explained it to me in more detail, I would understand…"  
"What more can I say? I… that day…"  
"Yes?" Squalo begins to reminisce about his past life, a few years back. He stares into space, looking in the direction of Shamal.

_I was working… in India… you know, after the raids? I had just claimed twenty thousand lives on my voyage in the Indian Channel… after my victory, well, right after, I decided to celebrate with my men in a near shore town at a local household… the family greeted us warmly, except for this… old woman… she appeared to be the eldest of the family... anyway, we celebrated with drinking and dancing… my men, and I, soon became very drunk... I… hardly recall what occurred after the sixth bottle, but I… never forgot what happened prior to I being drunk… the old woman, you know, the elder? She… hovered over me, in my drunken state, and said… 'You act as though their lives do not matter! For that, you will be cursed… cursed because of your great pride! Three things shall occur… one, you will not be capable of expressing love… two, your pride will harm you… and three, which is the consequence that will ensure the termination of the rest... your pride… shall create the destruction of those you love!'... at first, I refused to believe this as truth… perhaps I was dreaming… the next day, I decided to take a swim in the ocean… I was careless… a shark came at me… my arm was taken off in an instant! The second part of the curse had come true! I… lied to myself constantly…. I told everyone around me that my arm had been taken off in battle… the next thing I knew, I believed it, too! I soon started telling all sorts of lies to myself, and others… lies that implied my great superiority! And now, I see nothing of myself other than that of the perfect image… the perfect man…_

Shamal frowns.

"Squalo... you think your arm getting eaten, only a coincidence, is the result of a curse? Does it really torture you this much to not have a left arm to pick up things?"  
"No… that is why I put a retractable arm there, with a blade… people look up to me, and do not notice the curse…"  
"Squalo…"  
"And the love… I had you write those letters because I could not find the heart to write them! See? It is the curse speaking again to me!"  
"Squalo, you are mad! Really, truly, mad! The girl… wait… you said it did not go well, right? Hmph! You probably think the curse is preventing your show of affection again!"  
"What else can it be?"  
"Oh, I do not know… your ego, perhaps?"  
"MY EGO?!"  
"Well, Squalo, LISTEN! This girl... she… really is willing to be with you, but your pride is… preventing this from happening... and… I think there is something else behind it, too…"  
"And, that would be?" Shamal smiles a little.  
"Your pride originated from your lifelong success, in war... but now, because there is no war, it originates from a curse… do you not think it would be best to just forget any of this ever happened, and move on? A girl's heart depends on it, Squalo…" Squalo crosses his arms, and leans against the window, looking out of it, and frowning.  
"How can I forget… now? I know it is very stupid, but…" He sighs. "In reality, I had you write those letters because I did not have the time to write them personally… but… would she believe it? I mean… how can I spend the rest of my life with a girl who knows practically everything about me, but not vice versa? I know NOTHING about her, not even her NAME! How am I supposed to carry on a conversation with her, if I do not even know her name? It is not like I can just ask her carelessly!"  
"Squalo…"  
"Hm?"  
"She will give you affection, and she will understand… perhaps, not at first… but she will understand…" Squalo places his hand on the window.  
"Hmph… what good is it anyway?"  
"What?"  
"A wife… all they do is… hmph… I would hardly even know…" Shamal crosses his arms, and smiles, leaning back in his chair.  
"You do not know what it is like, having a lady around…"  
"My partner has always been the ocean! And battles! And comrades! Why… do I bother going through with this, if, as you implied… I have not the slightest idea how to handle it?"  
"Just recall what you told me, before writing the letters… you said, now that the war is over…"  
"I rather die than be alone…"  
"So? Act upon your words! Always consider how potent they are in determining your fate!" Squalo smirks.  
"I have to worry about a curse… I have to worry about a wife… when will I just worry about myself again?"

A few minutes pass…

Shamal walks out of the Captain's cart. He notices the man from outside, in the hallway. I immediately halt.  
"Um… is the Captain in?"  
"Yes… AH! You must be, uh… um…"

"Oh, of course! I did not recognize you!", says Shamal, glancing into the cart, smiling. The Captain blinks a few times, settling in the information he has indirectly attained. I smile.  
"Pardon, but I must speak with him, Sir…"  
"Señor Shamal! And yes! He has been waiting for you for quite some time, Señorita!" He shows me in, and waves his hand goodbye. "Ciao!" Shamal closes the door upon leaving. I glance at the Captain, who is now playing with the game piece again. I sit across from him again, trying to make eye contact.  
"I apologize for before… you seem to be… much more relaxed…"  
"Of course not… matter-of-factly, I am very irritated!"  
"You did not order another drink, did you?"  
"I do not drink."  
"Right." I admire the game piece and board.  
"Is that... chess? Why, of course it is! I heard so much about it in your letters!" The Captain looks up at me.  
"Chess?"  
"Yes! But, it looks rather odd, almost exotic, for chess! Is this how sailor's play it?" Squalo curls his fingers around the piece.  
"This… is not… chess…"  
"Oh? You said specifically in your letters that you always play chess, and nothing else!"  
"Shogi!"  
"What?"  
"The name… of this game… is… SHOGI!"  
"Alright! Hmph… by the way, on the, um, subject of games…"  
"You probably want to know why I am competing against myself…"  
"Well, yes, but that is not the reason I…"  
"No one… no one but I, is a worthy opponent of myself! My intellect is supreme!"  
"Ha, ha! That is right!"  
"What?", says Squalo, dropping the piece on the board. I smile.  
"You are said to have beaten all your crew members tactfully, which is why you refuse to battle anyone else! You do not want them to feel upset, right?"  
"Yes… of course… what else did I say?", says Squalo, looking down at the piece. He is now very intrigued in the person Shamal created.  
"Ah… alright…", I respond, going along with his little game. "You want me to read a line directly?"  
"Yes, I demand it!", exclaims Squalo, looking up at me. I grin, opening the letter already concealed in my hand. I sigh gleefully.

_Aside from playing chess, I enjoy a leisurely stroll around the park in my hometown._

"Hmph…" He crosses his arms. I glance up from the letter.  
"What? Have you other hobbies, taken up in the meantime?" Squalo contemplates his answer.  
"Hm… no?" I sigh, relieved.  
"Wonderful… this… might sound insane… but I, too love a leisurely stroll in the park…"  
"What do you find so good about it?"  
"Oh? Why… oh, I do not know… I just find the sport so romantic…"  
"BLEAH!", exclaims the Captain, seemingly disgusted. I blush, continuing the reading.

_Dear Miss _,_

"What? You are starting from the beginning?"  
"I suppose, since you seem so interested…"

_Dear Miss _,  
I am writing this letter in response to your statute regarding your search for a proper husband. My good friend, Señor Shamal, suggested you to I personally, stating we were meant for each other in matrimony. I, of course, know nothing about you, which is why I have decided, with your permission granted, we exchange a sufficient amount of letters prior to the confirmation of a proposal.  
To begin such an introductory, I shall make your acquaintance properly. My name is Captain Superbi Squalo. I do not wish to go into great detail about myself, career wise, for fear of being an excessive braggart towards my honorable Miss. I also wish not to discuss my looks, age, or accomplishments for the very same reason.  
Habitually, I play chess, which I shall mention consistently in my letters. I only play against myself, because I fear others in loss. Aside from playing chess, I enjoy a leisurely stroll around the park in my hometown. Anyway, enough about myself… tell me about yourself, my Lady! I wish to hear everything about you!  
Sincerely,  
The Captain_

P.S. You may call me Squalo, if you would like

Squalo looks at me, very… extraordinarily… revolted. I glance up at him, blushing a little upon reading the letter again. I smile.  
"So… Squalo... hm… would you still like me to call you by your first name?"  
"No… NO, NO, NO!", he exclaims, throwing the game board and pieces on the floor. He stands, his hand in a fist. "IT IS ALL WRONG! ALL OF IT! HORRENDOUS!"  
"Ah, so you have changed your mind about it?"  
"Lady, I implore you change your thoughts about this!"  
"So, you do not object…" I look down, very forlorn. Squalo frowns.  
"Miss, I…"  
"Captain!" We both turn towards the door. A man is standing there, dressed in train attendant uniform. "You may proceed."  
"Proceed? With what…"  
"Come on, Captain!", I say, grabbing his hand quickly. I stand, and exit with him at great speed out the door. He follows steadily, and not unwillingly, from probable shock. I look back at him, and smile. "I have reserved a spot for us to talk privately!"  
"Privately?! But… is not this e-…" I open the door to the caboose balcony. "… -nough?" I close the door upon our entrance. A soft breeze blows his hair rapidly about his face. I smile, leaning against the balcony bar.  
"So… what do you think?" Squalo is shocked, perhaps disillusioned. He looks down, closes his eyes, and frowns.  
"Tsch... it is nothing special…"  
"Why?" A moment passes before he opens his eyes, and looks up at the sky.  
"It… reminds me of… a ship's… balcony…"  
"Is that a bad thing?" Squalo looks at me and… he smiles.  
"No, it is not… in reality, I feel…" He looks down again. "At home…"  
"And I want you to feel at home, Squa-… Ca-Ca-Ca-Captain…", I say, curling my fingers into a fist over my chest, and looking off to the side. "I… want you to express yourself truthfully, without restrictions… without nervousness, or fear… I want you to take this experience as a new adventure, or rather… a new voyage! See to it that you do not hold back, or have to play useless games anymore!"  
"MISS!" I look up. Squalo's hand is on my shoulder. He smiles, even more so than before. "You… want me to compare this situation to that of a voyage? Is that how you envision it… truly?" I smile tenderly.  
"I imagined, as I was writing my letters, a picture of a ship captain, who desperately needed comfort… away from everything… everyone… he needed, so desperately, to be loved, or at least… to know he was loved… therefore, now that I am with you… these thoughts can be expressed in reality! You no longer need to have worries about being loved… no more questioning… this time, I am with you on this remarkable journey, discovering not if love is evident, but rather… how love, which is apparent, can be conveyed! I want to share each and every moment of my life with you, S-Squa… C-Capt…" I look down. Squalo lifts my chin up gently.  
"You… love me?"  
"Do… you?" Squalo moves his lips towards mine, kisses me, and, after a few seconds, slightly moves away.  
"I…"

"CAPTAIN!" We look at the door. A man opens it. "CAPTAIN SUPERBI!"  
"ZOI! What do you want already?!"  
"S-S-Sorry, Captain!", says the man, bowing. "Señor Shamal wishes to speak with you immediately! He has been waiting, with your crew, for hours!"  
"Alright, alright!" The man bows again and leaves. Squalo heads for the door, but is quickly stopped by me, holding onto his shoulder tightly.  
"Captain!"  
"Squalo…"  
"Squalo…", I say, with a smile. He smiles, too. "I love you." Squalo blushes, as he is turning towards the door.  
"I…"

"… love you, too…"

"CAPTAIN!" Squalo walks towards the front of the train. There, in the hallway, Shamal and other crew members, reside. Shamal is frowning. Squalo stops in front of him.  
"What is it, Shamal?"  
"Captain Superbi, we just received word from federal agents about a supposed assassination attempt, directed towards you…"  
"Revolutionaries?"  
"Yes… and even some locals… apparently they caught wind of your being here, on this train, headed towards Santa Cruz for vacation…"  
"But… how could they manage to travel this far?"  
"It is not Indian revolutionaries… Hispanic… Hispanic anarchists, aware of your previous plights in India, assume you have ambitions to kill their people, as well…"  
"BUT IT IS NOT TRUE! I have no desire to harm any more people!"  
"It is too late for excuses! The navy has conducted orders to be carried out immediately!"  
"What orders?" Shamal closes his eyes, grinding his teeth.  
"They… not specifically…"  
"WHAT, SHAMAL?!", exclaims Squalo, grabbing his shirt with his hand. Shamal opens his eyes and frowns.  
"Captain… they want you to escape, somehow, someway… now, you have three options… the first is to wait until we reach Santa Cruz to react, but, I do not recommend this… the revolutionaries might have plans for you there… the second is, for you to leap off the train immediately, encountering the revolutionaries head on… or three, which is the safest route… remain on the train for now, and avoid any attacks on the side… so, Captain Superbi… what will you do? Bear in mind we only have a few minutes to decide!" Squalo grins. He lets go of Shamal's shirt, and turns around.  
"Hmph… I only heard three words in those options… bait, fisherman, or fish... if I wait until we reach Santa Cruz, I will be prey to their mouths, almost as though I am giving up… if I get off the train, I have the advantage, and instead, they will be the ones to prey on... lastly, if I decide to stay on the train, and wait for further instruction... I will avoid my chance at preserving the very essence of my being! People will start to call me 'coward' instead of 'hero'… I will be mocked for the rest of my life… it will be as though everything I have ever worked for, was worth nothing in the end, and I will make my own bed because of it… I will provide my own meal, no longer bothering with catching the big one! Hm... so… Shamal… what do you think I have chosen?" Shamal looks down, and closes his eyes.  
"Squalo, you will resort to anything to preserve your pride… you are a fisherman to the end… but… what about the girl?" Squalo's eyes open wide. He begins to remember everything, including what he had said to me…  
He looks down. A tear falls from his eye… he frowns…  
"Shamal, I love her…"

"Too bad she does not love me…"

A few minutes pass... a door opens… Squalo looks out the door at the grass beside the train tracks. He sighs, preparing to jump…  
"SQUALO!" He turns around. Shamal is standing behind him. A few seconds later, Shamal hands him a few pieces of paper. "Here… her letters… I thought they might bring you comfort…" Squalo takes the ltters, and puts them in his pocket gently.  
"Thank you, but…" Squalo looks to the side, frowning. "I doubt I will find comfort in her response to the man she has committed her heart to… this… man…" He closes his eyes. "Is not me…" Shamal smiles reassuringly, and gently touches Squalo's shoulder.  
"Good luck… Squalo…" The Captain opens his eyes, and looks at Shamal with a smile. He glances out of the train, sighs once more, and…

leaps out of the train…

One…  
Two…  
Three…

_BOOMSH! BOOMSH! BOOMSH!_

Squalo quickly opens his eyes. He looks left… he looks right… he gains consciousness after the fall… immediately… because of…

"Oh… no… oh… my…"

"ZO-O-O-O-O-OI!"

Squalo, after facing the tracks, races to the left. He can hardly control himself... after a few seconds…

He finally reaches it…

The train, in shambles... the result of a massive explosion…

Squalo, devastated, leaps into the fire, resorting himself in pursuit of one being, and one being only…  
Me…

"MISS!", he shouts, coughing from the intake of smoke. "… MISS!" He climbs in the back, to the caboose… and sees me there, a mist rubble and flames… he takes hold of me, throwing me over his shoulders… he carries me over to the meadow, away from the smoke…

And begins to cry…

"Oh, Miss, I… have to admit something to you! I did not write those letters… it was Shamal! I… know you were looking forward to marrying me, but… I am not at all like you imagined…" Squalo presses his head against my chest, realizing now...

I am dead…

He slowly moves his head away from my body. Tears fall rapidly from his eyes…

He is silenced…

Suddenly, he hears a voice…

_Here… her letters… I thought they might bring you comfort…_

Squalo reaches into his pocket, pulling out the letters I had wrote to him. He slowly, and gently, opens the first…

_Dearest Squalo,  
Pardon me, but it will take some time before I am totally used to referring to you by you name. May I call you Captain instead?_

He reads on...

_Dearest Squalo,  
My, I am getting so used to this name, but, aside from my greeting, I wish to call you Captain!_

My dear Squalo, I feel very troubled. You must understand, and I suppose I must tell you immediately, that I do not share the same interests as you. I do not like leisurely strolls in the park, or playing chess… I much prefer the traditional Japanese game of Shogi, as opposed to the English tradition of chess…

Dearest Squalo,  
I have heard from people that you are a prideful man. Whether or not it is true… does not matter.  
In your last letter, you told me you loved me. I cannot honestly confirm this, because you have not said it in person, but…  
I know…  
Deep within the heart of a man…  
So willing…  
At any resort…  
To express his love…  
Is indefinitely sincere…

For this reason…

And many more…

I can whole-heartedly say…

I love you, too…

The letters fall from his hands… the man I love, even in death, looks at the body of the woman he loves, and ponders upon the very essence of himself, thinking,

"Because of my pride, I killed the woman I loved…"

"That is my curse…"


End file.
